5 things are waiting to be done

5 things are waiting to be done. that was a riddle a friend sent in December. and the state i seem to be in since weeks. or rather: since years. looking at to-do lists from the past months, i see that those 5 things are changing, though. which must mean that i am moving forward, right?

and looking back, it usually aren't the ones that were on top of the list that made the difference in the end. sometimes i feel, somewhere in the back of my mind there is a little neutronic net that knows very well what to do next, and what to leave waiting. only that it doesn't communicate in rational reasons to my consciousness. it communicates in whims and moods of the moment, making me feel like following follies instead of priorities.

2 more thoughts on this, or rather, quotes:

the goal i have: to never be finished - nie fertig werden.
that's what someone quoted to me years ago in Cologne, a wish for her life.

the more you do, the more you can do.
a modern day koan, sent from a san fran friend.

~

and then this, stumbled upon in the web, just at the right time:

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance, to live so that which came to me as seed goes on to the next as blossom, and so that which came to me as blossom goes on as fruit.

- Dawna Markova